Dating Anxiety

Texting got you feeling all graspy needy clingy nuts?

I feel yah, sista!

I ran super anxious when I was dating.

SUPER DUPER.

At any hint of change - my Spidey senses would flair up and my brain would go into overdrive. 🚨🚨🚨

😳Why hasn’t he texted me back?
🧐He used to text more than this…something I KNOW something has changed.
😔He’s pulling away.
🥺He’s lost interest in me.
😡I know he can’t be this fricken busy!!!
👿He’s just another noncommittal player douchebag.
😝Maybe he died or lost his hands!
😱He’s interested in someone else smarter, prettier, younger, skinnier, and just straight better than me.
🥵He figured out I am not all that, too much, and not enough all at the same time.
😥I’m doomed to never find love….

And my thoughts would just keepa come’n…

I WISH I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW:

🧠That it was just my brain reacting as it has evolved to do - get my attention when it senses danger.

🧠My primal brain is wired to conserve energy, seek pleasure, and avoid pain.

🧠My brain was trying to alert me and protect me, because to my primal brain, someone pulling away or no longer liking me was perceived as life threatening.

🧠So my brain activated my nervous system to get my attention!

🧠This is what working human brains are supposed to do.

🧠They don’t want you calmly sitting around analyzing your thoughts and feelings - they want you to fricken FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE or GETTING THE %#@* OUTTA THERE!

You’re not broken, craycray, effed up, or nuts. You have a brain and activated nervous system doing what they should be doing.

Learning how to calm your nervous system and have your own back is the key!

Some ways I like to calm my nervous system are: go for a jog with some favorite tunes, watch a fav show, hang out with friends, gentle yoga, some breathing exercises, cook a gorgeous meal, or a gorgeous sunset walk with a friend.

Once you’re feeling a little calmer. You can remind yourself that dating is all about getting to know people and see how they show up.

A thought or mantra you can try on: 💫✨I give them the freedom and space to show up as their true self. This is a gift to me and them.✨💫

Because really - dating is all about you showing up as the true you and getting to know the real them. From there you both get to make an informed decision on whether or not you're a match.

I know, I know - much easier said than done. It really is that simple - but not always that easy.

I’ll be doing a series of reels on IG next week with tips and trick to calm your nervous system and your dating mind - stay tuned and follow me @stacyperrycoaching if you are not already!

And as always, I invite you to reach out to me for a complimentary discovery coaching call so you can see what coaching is all about and if it feels good to you.

Loves,
Stacy