Grieving a Breakup
Jul 14, 2021
Unwanted Breakups = Grief & Loss + Rejection….
Breakups are basically the death of a relationship - the way it was & the way we thought it would be.
A breakup can intensify our thoughts and feelings around - I’m not good enough - I’m not worthy - I’m not lovable - I’m broken - there’s something wrong with me…
We are grieving that things have changed, aren’t as there were, and aren’t as we hoped they would be.
We grieve the loss of thinking we had found our person.
Sometimes we lose their families and friends through the breakup process.
Some of us are grieving not having a child on the timeline we had wished for or having to share custody with our ex.
Some of us are grieving the loss of the financial security we thought came with the relationship.
We can have new grief, “paper cuts”, every time our ex fails to show up during the breakup process the way we wish they would.
The more we try to control our ex - the more powerless we feel.
We can want them back and/or dread seeing them. The fear of what will happen if I bump into them and they’re with someone else???
We may beat ourselves up over missed warning signs or not listening to our guts.
We may feel pressure around a timeline stigma on how long it should take us to get over our grieving process
We may shame ourselves around how we showed up in the past or are showing up during the breakup process.
Grieving can feel super shitty, and then we pile on extra judgement, should-of, could-of, shouldn’t have…. We beat ourselves up and make ourselves wrong.
We all grieve differently.
I’d like to offer you the idea of going into self-kindness, curiosity, being your own best friend, and letting yourself cry all the tears.
You can use the breakup experience to feel stronger, love yourself more, and create the life you want.
If you want an unbiased person to process your breakup grief and then, when you’re ready, help you move on to creating the love and life you so deeply desire - reach out to me.
