Suffering is NOT Necessary

One thing that I help my clients do is get rid of the unnecessary $#!% drama and pain and suffering.

Let me give you an example.

I'm dating a guy in the beginning - 3 months, kinda casually and it ends because I want a relationship and he doesn't.

Ouch.

That hurts.

I'm human.

I have to process that pain.  It makes me sad. This person that I liked doesn't like me back in the same way or want the same thing I want.

That is being human. 

The unnecessary pain and suffering is when my brain tells me...

💩You're never going to find anybody as cute. 
💩You're never going to find anybody that has as hot chemistry with you.
💩You're not going to find anybody as successful.
💩No guy's going to want a relationship with you.
💩People don't want relationships anymore.
💩There's no good guys left out there.
💩This city sucks for dating...

All the things my brain piled on.

And my brain did not stop there, it kept going…

💩You’re too fat
💩You’re too old. Remember that saying -you have a better chance of being hit by lightening than getting married if you’re a woman over 40?  Well - that’s you, Sista!
💩Everyone wants to just date multiple people.  No one wants a committed relationship anymore. And anyone who did got married in their 20’s and had kids.
💩You're too needy and not “all that”.
💩You should just stop trying and save yourself a lot of pain and suffering.  
💩You’re just wasting your time.  
💩Girl, the caliber of man you like wants way younger and hotter than you.

These were my brain’s favorite crappy thoughts it had on a loop running in my head while I was dating. Your brain has it special flavor of shitty favorites too.

💩You’re simply unlovable.  You’re a special kind of fucked up - so love is just not possible for you.  
💩 No one was or will ever be there for you.  You are doomed to be alone and abandoned.  No one will ever have your back!
💩You’ve got too much baggage, Sista.
💩You’re just not good enough. And too much at the same time.
💩 It’s too late.

THE CRAZY THING IS OUR BRAINS ARE SAYING ALL THESE AWFUL THINGS BECAUSE OUR BRAIN’S ONLY JOB IS TO KEEP US ALIVE!

OUR BRAINS

🧠Want to keep us safe and out of harms way.
🧠Are always on the lookout for danger and the worst case scenario.
🧠Are wired to ruminate and worry.
🧠Evolved to have us avoid pain and conserve energy - so it hates us dating and going after love.

IN COACHING YOU LEARN TOOLS TO:
🔬Become aware of your thoughts that aren’t serving you.
🔨STOP believing everything your brain says.
📝Think and believe new thoughts that serve our search for love
🧰Process our emotions when we do feel hurt, scared, sad… all the feelings that can come up on our journey to find love.

It’s not always easy, but it works.  

If you’re ready to add some new tools to your tool box and stop listening to everything your brain tells you about how love just isn’t in the cards for you - let’s chat.  Book a call here💋